Saturday, May 21, 2011

FB Stalking Fail!

My little brother's girlfriend tends to update her Status on FB often. As he's been having a lot of health issues I check in with her every once in awhile.

However I realized that I had missed his birthday this year, but when I went on FB to wish him a belated birthday, I noticed I couldn't find his profile.

So I sent her a message to pass along to him, and asked when he dropped his profile. She wrote back that it had been over a year! Oops on my part, I never noticed!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Rachel & Monica moments

The weather had finally been warming up, so I decided to wear a nice flow-y skirt to work one day. I went to the washroom in the morning, while washing my hands a lady walking out the washroom stopped just behind me.

She then said, "I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but trust me no guy would say this. But your skirt is caught in your panties."

I thanked her profusely, then rapidly fixed the back of my skirt, which was in fact totally caught and showing off my rear, before leaving the washroom. 

I went back to my desk to tell a co-worker of the near very embarrassing incident. As I was telling her she settled into her desk (she had just arrived). And I noticed that on her very nice new blouse, she had a button undone in a very revealing way.

I of course told her. For the rest of the day both of us were very paranoid with our wardrobe. Because of the humor of the situation, I emailed a friend of the incident to cheer her up, as she was having a bad week. 

It made her laugh, but also prompted her to share a story of her own. She was in a store that sells "delicates" looking around. Awhile after she left she noticed 3 young girls following her and laughing hysterically. Paranoid, she finally turned around and asked, "What is wrong?"

The girls pointed at her jacket and laughed, "You have panties stuck to the Velcro on your jacket."

Horrified at the fact she was running around a mall with panties on her jacket, but also over the fact that technically she had also stolen the panties, as she had not paid for them. She rushed back to the store and dumped them into one of the bins and left quickly.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Are you all here?

My boyfriend and I arrived at restaurant with another couple. Upon our arrival the hostess remark, "For four? Do you have a reservation?"

My boyfriend replied that we did, "Ben for four."

She then asked, "Has your whole group arrived?"

The four of us looked at each other and said, "Um, yes...?"

- Debated saying, no, one of us is actually just a stand in for the real person. We will keep their seat warm until they can arrive...

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Loki vs Odin

I went out with family tonight to see the movie Thor. We had to chuckle when my niece saw the preview for the movie and was like, hey! Our dogs are named Thor and Loki! How weird is that? Granted my niece is still fairly young, the knowledge of mythology limited, it amused the rest of us.

However we laughed even harder when we realized my other sister had a bird named Odin and she left it with my first sister to bird-sit while she moved. 

My sister (the one watching the bird) was home with her kids, she was cleaning the upstairs and my young nephew had gone downstairs to play with his puppy Loki. Anyway my Sister realized she hadn't heard them in awhile, so she called down to them to see what they were up to. Loki came bounding up the stairs, licking his lips.

My sister thought this was odd and when she looked closer she noticed a tuffed of blue out of the corner of his mouth. Now Loki, true to his name causes mischief by chewing everything, and specializes in eating stuffed animals, however my sister had a bad feeling about the blue. As she went down the stairs the feeling got worse. There was a blue feather.

When she got to the living-room, her fears were realized, my nephew had released Odin to play with, but Loki decided he needed a mid-morning snack instead and ate Odin. 

My sister groaned, she now had to call our other sister to let her know what her dog had done. Luckily we were all able to laugh about it. Poor Odin, little did he know what Loki had in store!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Crazy stalker guy mini...

I went out for lunch with a friend and when I arrived back at work I ran into the "crazy stalker guy" as I got off the elevator. He said, "Oh! There you are, I'm off for the rest of the day. Have a good weekend, I'm heading to TO." Then hopped on the elevator. I kind of stood there thinking... okay?

I'm not his supervisor, nor the Admin for the group and we hadn't talked to each other all day, so why would he be looking to tell me where he was going?

Sunday, May 8, 2011

It's painful somedays.

At one my jobs we were required to enter personal data on people. One day while working a co-worker was having difficulty entering the information into the system.

So she asked the girl sitting beside me and myself for help. However when she gave us the birthday, it was for later on in that year, so could not be the correct birth date. 

We realized this immediately and said, "You can't enter it, because it hasn't happened yet," in almost perfect stereo.

The girl said thank you, then continued to stare at her computer for a full minute. Then she said. "Oh! I see what you mean now!"

The girl next to me and I looked at each other in wonder. At this point, I slid my chair back and said it was time for my break.

To make things even worse for the girl, there had been a sticker on the page she was entering that noted the problem with the birth date and listed the correct date and was highlighted.

Some days jobs just aren't worth the pain.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

You wouldn't dare!

At work, I was requested to do some research on a subject. I had spent quite a bit of time looking for the information requested and was only able to find one relevant reference to what was asked. I sent the document off to print right away as it was close the time I would normally be leaving work.

I rushed into the printer room and when I checked the printer, I saw a huge stack of printing coming off. I inwardly groaned as the paper was legal size, colour and double sided to boot. I checked the page numbers... even worse than I thought. 156 of 203. I then looked at the list of print jobs. It would be est 4 minutes until it reached mine as there was another unfortunate sole behind this monster print job and in front of me. 

A lady wandered in, inquiring as to if her print job had been completed yet, she was the owner of the 203 pages. It was still waiting to finish. She mentioned she normally prints at the other end of the floor, however that printer was out of toner (no wonder when you print the size document she had). She mentioned she had toyed with the idea of taking the toner out of the printer I was standing by so she wouldn't have to walk all the way down here for her printing.

Inwardly I daring her to try and see how far she got before someone caught her. And pictured different evil ideas  I'd want to do to someone who would do something so petty. Just then the printer randomly decided to take a break from printing for a few minutes, I think it was it's own way of protesting the print job.

She then scrolled through the list of print jobs, as she had apparently sent a second item to print and wanted to see where it was. She noticed that were about 5 documents ahead of hers, mine included. Then she said, "Well I am supposed to be going home in about 2 min, but I guess I'll won't delete the other print jobs, I'll just wait my turn."

With this I envisioned giving her a clothesline to the throat followed by a flying elbow (I remember those from watching 80s wrestlying with my Grandfather when he was alive) after that comment, as there was no way I was going to allow someone to delete my print job after waiting for so long.

Her mammoth print job finally came to a halt and she excitedly grabbed it off the printer. Only to discover it had not printed in book fashion as she had wanted. I think she must have seen my eyes shooting death rays in her direction as she quickly followed up with, "But I guess I can deal with this and make it work." 

A couple of minutes later my print job finally was spit out of the printer, quickly followed by her second print job. I pulled her pages off of mine and handed them too her. The first page of her print job was a letter size picture of a little girls' face, in full colour of course. She quickly snatched the pages from my fingers and said, "Don't look at that!" Then rushed away to her desk.

Not sure what was more maddening, the fact that her monster print job that should have taken 4 minutes from my arrival took closer to 10, or that she had threatened to delete other people's legitimate work print jobs for her own personal non-work related printing just so she could leave work on time.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


A change from the stories that follow me, I've decided to instead dedicate "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam to my friend who lost her husband. J, he will be waiting for you to arrive.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Are you or aren't you?

For some reason most of the jobs I have include a lot of female co-workers. As you can imagine gossip rears it's head every once in awhile.

I was the subject of one such rumor apparently, as evidenced by the woman who came up and asked me if I was pregnant.

I replied no, I was not.

She replied, "Oh, because I was going to tell you that you looked really good if you were. . . "

( - Did that mean I looked bad because I wasn't?? LOL)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

And it all started with an email on cheese...

Not long after I started my temporary position, I ended up going to lunch with one of my male co-workers. He seemed to be the one man Social Committee for our team, so figured it would be fun.

During lunch he asked me a lot of questions on where I've lived, worked, etc, as it was known that I wasn't originally from this area.  He was really excited to find out that I had worked a stint with the Oil & Gas industry. He asked a lot of questions about what it was like, where we lived, etc. He seemed overly excited about the sexual harassment that can occur. This was a little unusual as  people don't usually seem eager to want to know more about this subject.

He was especially curious about the girls who worked there. As he had heard from a friend of his that the girls who worked there were especially "easy" (totally not the word he used, but I'm going to use a nicer version for this blog). He then said that this might be exactly something he needed, to go up there with those types of girls. At this point I had radars ringing all over the place. As I was certain I had previously seen him wearing a wedding band (I have a single co-worker from my previous job I always keep an eye out for and had marked him off the list early on).

However, I checked his hands and he was not wearing a wedding band. I then questioned myself on whether or not I had actually seen a band and thought I had made a mistake. On the way back to work, he talked about how each office has one girl who seems to be "easy". At this point I made sure I mentioned my boyfriend's name a few more times as I was to the point of being seriously creeped out.

He then explained to me that he and his wife were currently separated but were "working on things". (This explained the missing ring). - I'm still not certain how one "works on things" with one's wife when talking about wanting to work with "easy" women.

Once back at my office, I immediately fired off a message to my boyfriend telling him about this seriously creepy lunch I had. As he responded to me about this guy being "that guy" you avoid, I got a message from my co-worker apologizing for the lunch. Stating he didn't want to be "that guy". I did a complete non answer email back. Laughing that he had totally realized he had been "that guy".

His next email back however was to ask me out for drinks sometime after work. I told him, I would consider it, however only if he wife were to come along (as I didn't want to be "that girl" to her). - This was me be nice as I really wasn't considering ever going out with him.

He really surprised me in his reply when he seemed angry. He stated that he can have his own friends that have nothing to do with his wife, she doesn't need to know everything he is doing, etc. - I was like wow, this guys is nuts!!

Later that afternoon we had a mini coffee break to celebrate a team members birthday. And "that guy" was now wearing his wedding ring again and has worn it everyday since. 

All my friends still laugh and ask about my "crazy stalker guy" from work.